As Georgia marks the anniversary of the 2008 Russian aggression, the country is having its usual discussions. Some mourn the dead, others honor the heroes, some name the enemies, and others condemn the traitors. Not that this is new – many Georgians have long written off half of their country’s citizens as traitors or enemies and have resigned themselves to living in a growing alienation. But this “peaceful” routine is occasionally shattered by new acts of betrayal that still turn our worlds upside down. Such was the shock when Madona, the goddess of war in Georgian television mythology, suddenly decided to desert the battlefield.
Here is Nini and the Dispatch newsletter trying to find out what is this “peace” that some people are so violently seeking.
“I want to live in a peaceful, free Georgia,” Madona Koidze, a prominent Georgian television personality, told a reporter on July 16, who spotted her at Georgian Dream’s campaign launch event and wanted to know what made her endorse the ruling party.
Koidze was not the only celebrity present. The usual suspects – a few athletes, artists, and other members of the pro-government intelligentsia – were also on the guest list, which, given Georgian celebrities’ penchant for bandwagoning, included fewer famous faces than one would expect at the big event of the country’s most powerful political force. But Koidze was not just any usual suspect. She wasn’t supposed to be a suspect at all, let alone the one preaching peace at a gathering of shady rich men. For if there was anyone who knew war, loved battle, fought the system, and was admired for it, it was Madona Koidze.
Madona’s War on Dirt
It’s been years since “Public Control” – a show co-hosted by Madona Koidze and fellow journalist Liza Vadachkoria – premiered on TV. Since then, the show has grown in popularity and audience. Each episode features the co-hosts storming random food facilities with cameras to closely inspect the hygienic conditions and food safety there – whether the owners like it or not.
Most of the time, they don’t like it, which makes the show all the more entertaining to those who come for the drama: things can get really intense on air, and the advanced fighting skills these ladies possess make the show about much more than cleanliness. With similar blonde Anna Wintour-esque bob haircuts and fierceness, the two co-hosts resemble a pair of anecdotal Karens (…on steroids), except that, unlike textbook Karens, they don’t ask to speak to the managers – they go in and act as if they were managers themselves, bossing the restaurant staff around and occasionally berating them.
The show’s dramatic interrogation scenes quickly catapulted Koidze to national fame. With her years of consumer advocacy, stern yet humane demeanor, and undeniable TV flair, Madona has the appeal of that tough neighbor who’s not afraid to stick up for you (and could be the reason mom made you thoroughly clean every corner of the house in case someone dropped by unannounced).
And the woman knows how to put on a show: God forbid that the meat in the restaurant’s fridge doesn’t look as fresh as she wants it to, or worse, one or two cockroaches are roaming around minding their own business. Madona will immediately stage a public on-air execution and send those responsible to a special place in hell, where all that awaits them is eternal burning in a pit full of detergents and disinfectants. The audience loves it: what better to offer to a Georgian public with a stated commitment to cleanliness, a widespread distrust of businesses, a constant search for things to be angry about, and suppressed trauma of a dark and unclean past when an average family could afford to take a bath no more than once a week, on a designated bath holiday?
Koidze is good at her job. She can see gems where others can’t, and her influence has been felt everywhere. I remember accidentally seeing her positive feedback in the guest book of a neighborhood cafe and instantly knowing that I could lick the floor of that establishment and not have to worry about it. Still, those shows are not for the faint-hearted: some of us would rather walk into one of those questionable restaurants, befriend fellow rats who happen to live and thrive there, and pretend we’re Ratatouille characters than watch the restaurant staff as they are ruthlessly tried by Madona, who wants to know what a dirty rag that looks like someone’s used underwear is doing in a place where food is being cooked.
Madona Mia!
Do businesses that may be putting our health at risk ever deserve our sympathy? Probably not, but our sympathies sometimes go the wrong way, and so, it seems, do our political sympathies. You’d think Madona’s biggest class enemy would be the government, which has failed to take control of public health and sanitation and left all the heavy battles to her instead. But no. It turns out that Madona loves her wars, and Madona loves to fight her wars IN PEACE.
This might have led Koidze to openly endorse the ruling party, breaking the hearts of many who once admired her extraordinary fighting spirit and willingness to stand up for those whose rights might be violated. Social media exploded, with some wondering how someone with an eye for dirt would fail to see it where it was most concentrated. TikTok youth, long known for idolizing those they see as tough mother figures, broke down in tears. And it wasn’t just Koidze’s fighting spirit that appeared to find eternal rest just when it was most needed. Her other key asset – mistrust – also seemed to have spilled out in the wrong place. The TV star refused to believe that the EU was serious about Georgia’s fading European prospects or that there was anything Russian about the foreign agent’s law.
All of that distrusting energy seems to have been compensated by her blind trust in those with the greatest power and thus the most consistent track record in deceiving people: the government. Yet, what seems like a surprising turn of events or a personality quirk could be, in fact, part of a global trend.
Scroll down any social media platform, go to any gathering outside your own bubble, and this is all you’ll see and hear: pacifists supporting a war of aggression; the “question everything” guys buying into the most ridiculous conspiracy theories; man-is-a-man and woman-is-a-woman people suddenly counting chromosomes (because isn’t this how our ancestors always determined gender?). And those who are constantly scaremongering about wars and assassination plots are diving head first into the very situation they’ve been warning against.
Peace of their own
Does this mean that if you push a cause too far and in too militant a fashion, you can go through the looking glass and end up supporting what you were pushing against? Perhaps. But the question remains: what is wrong with the peace that Madona wants, the Georgian Dream monopolizes, and the rest of us masochistically resist? Is it that they’ve confused peace with comfort? After all, the peace that Madona’s favorite party seeks may not be so different from the peace that shady restaurant owners seek from Madona herself: the right to being left undisturbed while they continue to neglect others’ vital interests and harm them for their benefit.
The government and its supporters may be right: their unwavering commitment to peace may someday protect them from the worst—losing power. But who will protect the rest of us from their peace?
